GOAL: $1,000,000

Your donations keep the Anti-Robot Inundation Army marching and that propaganda flowing. O.K.; not really. If that were the case, the cards would have stopped going out a long time ago. And seriously, the robot needs a lot more than $1,000,000 to retire early and live a life of luxury befitting a defense contractor, republican lobbyist or pension-raiding corporate CEO. (The robot is not a defense contractor, republican lobbyist or pension-raiding corporate CEO.) The robot is all for the redistribution of wealth, particularly when the wealth is distributed in the robot's direction. So feel the joy. Spread the wealth (like creamy peanut butter onto the robot's dry slab of toast). Donate some cash. Together we can help the robot retire early, send out more postcards or perhaps, purchase some robot-porn.

Celebrity spokes-model coming soon.